One of my favorite lessons I took away from my trip to Chennai was the discussion around the topic of Satya with Mr. Sridhar. For those of you unfamiliar with the term and it´s context within yoga philosophy, I will first take a moment to explain that.
In Yoga philosophy (as described by Patanjali) there are 8 ´´branches´´ or aspects of yoga. In my last post I talked about the branch we are most familiar with in classes, Asana (Postures). Another branch speaks to the way in which we relate to the world. It describes not moral codes but rather suggests ways which will allow us to have the most harmonious relationships and therefore peace of mind. There are five ´´suggestions´´ or principal. Ahimsa, non-harm, is actually the first, and it is then followed with Satya ,speaking the truth.
Satya is often thought to come in conflict with the first principal Ahimsa. Many believe you cannot both speak the truth all the time and not cause harm. I too have struggled to undersand this, let´s be honest that sometimes the truth hurts.
However, we can think of it more as the delivery of the truth that matters most. The context, the timing, the words used, the way it is expressed. This is how we avoid harm, not by changing the truth or sugar coating but rather by really being mindful of how we transmit the truth.
From my own personal experience, I can understand that for example that waiting for the emotional charge or self-soothing/regulating before conveying what I think or feel is vey important.
Non-violent communication by Marshall Rosenberg also speaks to this thouroughly. I would summarize his ideas as placing the emphasis on how an action made us feel, making a request for different actions going forward, and negotiation of a resolution. In this kind of communication, we also respect and accept the response of the other, if we are unhappy with the response, we may simply realize the relationship is not for us. This is what is meant by non-violent, without force, simply a conversation around our experience & needs.
So, we might think of Satya as skillful communication of the truth. It is not simply Truth, it is about how it is transmitted.
The goal should be keeping in mind harmonious relationships. We should communicate in ways that sustain relationships or have an end goal of imporving closeness rather than creating distance. Or if the relationship is one that needs to end at least one that ends with some degree of compassion/acceptance if possible. Again, not because this is the right or moral thing to do, but because it is what will allow your mind to be calm now and going forward.
This is not about supressing emotions, but about not reacting to them. Conveying them from a state of equilibrium will have better impacts, we will be more clear and our message is more likely to be received well.
It is a process, it is a practice, like anything else in yoga. For me this has been a true lifelong journey and I continue to work at it. I went from not being able to express myself at all, to over expressing, to finally starting to understand this concept & doing it hopefully better all of the time. It is hard to find the right words at times, it is hard to not react. And yes there are times also I have learnt where we are meant to handle the emotion ourselves and we must think carefully if it is helpful to share it or not.
Something I have also learned is that even if you do your very best at this, it will not always be recived well, it doesn´t guarantee any outcome. In yoga philosphy we talk about taking the path of skilled action, doing all you can, and letting go the outcome. The outcome is still not up to you. That is also a very hard thing to come to terms with, doing everything right and not having it go well. But I have learnt that at least I don´t doubt that the outcome could have been any better, I know it is what it is meant to be because I have done my best, so I can sleep calmer knowing all is as it meant to be.
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